Lighting the way
This week’s journey had me exploring the aspect of the human condition in which we hide our truths and hide ourselves within our secure bases. And what we do when we lose our way or sense of comfort in our nests of safety.
Sometimes it is so deeply embedded within our DNA for the purposes of self-preservation and we become so lost in the carefully constructed layers of protection we have made for ourselves that we forget who we are underneath it all.
We may have created so many different personas for the different aspects of our lives and when the veil is suddenly drawn back, we become overwhelmed with the sudden exposure. Our carefully crafted illusion is put under a spotlight and we automatically fall back and grasp on to any measure of dark security we can.
You know that feeling when you are trying to make everything work and fit and be what it needs to so you might end up with all of the lights in the house on, every appliance running, televisions blaring and 5 devices charging? That’s an interpretation of our neurons when we are running on overdrive in a constant state of adrenaline and panic and stress. It seems like so much effort to go through and turn things off one by one, much like a computer with way too many browsers open.
That’s when the circuit breaker hits. Something will happen, some trigger, a catalyst. And everything goes black. Everything is unplugged, stripped down bare with the feeling of surplus electricity buzzing in the air.
And that’s where we sink or swim. In that dark space we reach a crossroads. Go backwards into hiding. Or move forwards into illumination. With all the generated light blown we have only natural light to guide us so we take a breath and we gather our courage and follow the flickering candle or torch light into what we pray is something better.
One foot in front of another, walking barefoot on the earth, high on a clifftop in place between the sea and stars I remembered to practice Sudarshan Kriya Yoga. SKY Breathing. The Vedic disciplines remind us to take our outwardly directed awareness to within, in order to experience a deep restful state. (Try researching Bija mantra’s – you’ll thank me later)
The thing about walking barefoot is it gives us the connection of our skin cells to the mycelium network spread throughout the soil. Yes, there’s rocks and sticks and leeches. But a few scratches and small amounts of bleeding only work in your favor as it binds you tighter to land and the earth you tread upon, something we desperately need when we are sinking in the tidal wave of big emotions or desperate to fly away from our troubles.
Small injuries remind us to go slower, tread more carefully. Not make the same misstep next time. Be more cautious in our paths and the things we follow. Maybe it encourages you to make your own path, a path less travelled. But by moving forward, we ensure we don’t become enmeshed in the quicksand of memories and footprints of the places we’ve already visited and perhaps stayed to long.
Along the path you might unpack some of the burdens you’ve been carrying, some of the things you’ve been keeping safe for others that have been weighing you down. You might run into fellow travelers and they might give you good directions or highlight the next steps to take on your way back to your safe place. Often you will find a level of endurance and new tools or equipment you can use in rebuilding your space.
And depending on when you ran away, how long your journey took and when you find your way back, the spectrum of lights may have changed.
Your perception of the situation may have changed. There might need to be some forgiveness given or received to be able to come back to that place of brightness. Something we often forget to do is speak to our inner child the way they deserve. A simple ‘I’m sorry. I see you. I hear you. You are important and I will keep you much safer from now on’.
Other people are too quick to judge, ignore, shame and punish us so let’s stop the self-punishment and perpetuation of dimming our own light with embracing a simple truth spoken so well by one of my favorite poets, Maya Angelou.
“Remember to forgive yourself for the things you didn’t know before you learnt them”
We’ve been hiding ourselves as a collective for too long, sitting in the dark alone for too long, keeping far too quiet for far too long. Find the thing that lights you up and brings you that reserve of superhuman strength to pull yourself out of the quagmire of soul sand you got stuck in. Art, Singing, Painting, Drawing, Talking, Reading, Writing, Running or simply breathing. Whatever you do, remember to breathe. Our beautiful trees and forests have spent far too long perfecting the art of providing oxygen for us to waste it. And there is always a safe base to be found under the shelter of a tree when it all gets too much and you need to sit and rest on your travels.
Nothing but love and love xx